Neko

Have great faith. Claim it and it shall be yours.

A quote I stumbled upon while doing my reviews for the board examinations last 2014.
Since then, I claimed that I will pass this board exam. I even posted my name with a professional suffix on my mirror just to remind myself that I need to claim it, and it shall be mine, I just have to do my best, endure everything along the way, and it will be mine at the finish line. Though, during the review period, I won't deny that, sometimes, I tend to overthink and question my capabilities if I could pass the exam because I easily forget things, concepts, ideas, izzjust hard. Yet every time I remember this quote, I know I will pass. And yes! I got it! yey!
Just have great faith.
An then, years after, with twists and turns, my life turned into a mess. It was so confusing... Pure hurt...
2018 has been a challenging year for me. Just total chaos. I was beginning to operate on an autopilot. Even watching the most funniest videos there was. I can't seem to make myself laugh or smile. I was living a life of self-destruction. I have been drowning myself with work and school so that I have no time to think how did I end up with this kind of life. These distractions has been my way to forget things, to force myself away from overthinking. It felt like I am drowning because my heart's too heavy to stay afloat. But I can see bits and bits of hope, izzthen I knew, I just need to have faith... that everything is going to be all right.

So, when my beshy from my previous job opened up about how he wanted to have a tattoo, we just did it! This is what I got, my first tattoo...

Faith
December 2018.
This tattoo is my painful reminder of my 2018.

But it felt like I need more... I need more to remind me that things will turn out okay. I need a constant reminder... Because it seems like my life is getting more and more maddening. Izzwhen I got my second tattoo...

God is greater than my highs and lows
January 2019